4 Easy Ways to Deal with Insults

Mental Self Defense for Insults

There are many ways to deal with insults depending on who they are coming from, how they land and your level of comfort with confrontation.

When someone comes at you with an insult, you always have choices. Being that there are lots of variables, I’ve laid out 4 easy ways to deal with most insults.

  1. Step aside and brush it off.

If someone just handed you an insult, most likely that person is not worth your time or energy. If you barely know the person it may be easier to just step aside and brush it off. Act like it means nothing (because it doesn’t) and that it didn’t even land on you. Let it bounce off of you like water off of a duck’s back. Nothing can touch you!

Going forward, create distance from this person so they have less access to you. That can mean blocking them on social media or not answering their texts, calls, DMs. If you work with this person or live with this person, you may have to use #2, #3 and or #4 in addition.

This technique is obviously easier for those with a thicker skin.

2. Clarify it with a question.

Sometimes insults are so shocking that you wind up saying nothing at all and leaving the interaction stunned. You think about the interaction for days afterward and keep getting annoyed at yourself for saying nothing.

The next time you’re in that type of situation, bounce back with a question. If someone hands you a rude, derogatory or downright insulting comment, snap back with a question like, “That was really (fill in the blank rude, insulting, etc.). Was that your intention?”

Hold the insulter’s gaze until they answer. If they try and brush it off or laugh it off, ask it again until they answer. Hold them accountable! You’ll see how quickly they start to squirm or try and take back what they’ve said.

3. Tell them how it lands.

This one is great for personal relationships. If you value the relationship enough, then let that person know how their insult made you feel. This way, the insulter has the opportunity to understand their mistake and apologize for it. If the insulter didn’t mean it as an insult, you can both have a discussion about it. You can then ask that person not to say that particular thing to you again and you can both come to an understanding going forward.

4. There’s always the deadly stare!

If you’re in a professional setting or somewhere you don’t feel comfortable speaking up and someone says something rude to you, give them an icy, deadly stare. This way, they know you heard it and your body language says “do not mess with me again. You may be getting away with it this time, but watch out if you ever try this again.”

To help you remember these four easy ways to deal with insults, watch this 30 second Instagram reel and make sure you’re following along for more mental self defense tips.

If you know someone who can use some insult self defense, go ahead and share this blog with them. Thanks friend!