Episode 66 – Sit With Me: Embracing Mindfulness and Metta with Oneika Mays

Ever wonder how to stay kind and grounded when the world feels angry, divided, and unsafe, especially as a woman carrying so much? 


On The Art of Badassery podcast, Jenn Casseta interviews mindfulness teacher and author Oneika Mays about her book Sit With Me: A No-BS Journey to Mindfulness and Meditation, unpacking metta (loving-kindness) and how it’s practiced by extending care from yourself to loved ones, strangers, difficult people, and all beings, without abandoning boundaries. 

Oneika shares her path through trauma, grief, career identity loss, and rediscovering herself through therapy, yoga, and meditation, including pivotal lessons on the “middle way.” She also describes teaching trauma-informed mindfulness at Rikers Island, the sensory intensity of jail, and breakthroughs like choosing tree pose instead of violence. They close with a practical 15-second mindfulness reset using the hands as an anchor. 

Listen to the episode here

Watch the episode here

https://youtu.be/11EPRHugFBs

What if one of the most powerful ways to navigate life’s challenges isn’t by changing what’s happening around you, but by changing how you respond?

In a recent episode of The Art of Badassery podcast, host Jenn Casseta sits down with mindfulness teacher, meditation guide, yoga instructor, and author Oneika Mays to explore the transformative practice of mindfulness. Inspired by her book, Sit With Me: A No-BS Journey to Mindfulness and Meditation, the conversation offers an honest, accessible look at how mindfulness can help us cultivate resilience, self-compassion, and genuine inner peace.

What Is Metta?

At the heart of the conversation is Metta, a Pali word that translates to loving-kindness. Rooted in Buddhist tradition, Metta is the practice of extending unconditional love and compassion—beginning with yourself and gradually expanding that kindness to others.

During a Metta meditation, participants silently repeat phrases such as:

  • May I be safe.
  • May I be happy.
  • May I be healthy.
  • May I be free.

From there, those same wishes are extended to loved ones, acquaintances, difficult people, and ultimately all living beings.

For Oneika, this practice has been life-changing. Rather than focusing on external circumstances, Metta has helped her deepen her relationship with herself, expand her emotional capacity, and approach others with greater compassion and understanding.

A Journey from Survival to Self-Acceptance

Oneika’s path to mindfulness wasn’t born from a life of ease—it emerged from adversity.

In her late twenties, she found herself navigating childhood trauma, profound grief, and the loss of a former partner. Like many people searching for healing, she began with therapy before discovering yoga, which eventually led her to meditation and mindfulness.

Over time, these practices became more than wellness routines. They became tools for self-acceptance, helping her move beyond simply surviving difficult experiences and toward living with greater intention and authenticity.

Her story serves as a reminder that mindfulness isn’t about eliminating hardship—it’s about learning how to meet hardship with awareness instead of overwhelm.

Bringing Mindfulness to One of the Most Challenging Places

One of the most remarkable chapters of Oneika’s journey took place inside Rikers Island, where she became the jail’s first mindfulness coach.

Introducing meditation in an environment filled with constant stress, noise, and uncertainty was no small task. Yet through patience and consistency, she created opportunities for incarcerated individuals to experience moments of stillness, reflection, and emotional clarity.

Her work demonstrates that mindfulness isn’t reserved for quiet retreats or perfect conditions. Its greatest impact often comes in the places where peace feels hardest to find.

Mindfulness Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated

Many people assume mindfulness requires lengthy meditation sessions or a complete lifestyle overhaul. Oneika offers a much simpler invitation: start with what you’re already doing.

Whether you’re brushing your teeth, washing dishes, walking the dog, or drinking your morning coffee, try giving that activity your full attention. Notice your breath. Notice your surroundings. Notice when your mind wanders—and gently bring it back.

These small moments of presence create the foundation for a more mindful life.

Over time, these simple practices help us pause before reacting, allowing us to respond with greater clarity rather than operating on autopilot.

Choosing Your Response

One of the most powerful themes throughout the conversation is personal responsibility.

While we can’t control every circumstance life places in our path, we can choose how we respond. Mindfulness creates the space between an event and our reaction, giving us the opportunity to act from a place of intention rather than impulse.

That choice—to respond with awareness, compassion, and self-respect—is where lasting growth begins.

Final Thoughts

Oneika Mays reminds us that mindfulness isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about becoming more present with who you already are.

Through practices like Metta, everyday mindfulness, and intentional self-reflection, we can build greater resilience, deepen our relationships, and navigate life’s inevitable challenges with more compassion—for ourselves and for others.

No matter where you’re starting, mindfulness begins with a single moment of paying attention.

Three Key Takeaways

  • Practice loving-kindness from the inside out. Cultivating compassion for yourself first makes it easier to extend grace and empathy to others.
  • You can’t always control what happens—but you can control how you respond. Mindfulness creates space for intentional, empowered choices.
  • Start small. Bringing mindful awareness to ordinary daily activities is one of the simplest and most effective ways to build a lasting mindfulness practice.

Important Links

About Oneika Mays

Oneika Mays, LMT, E-RYT, is a mindfulness and meditation teacher, yoga instructor, licensed massage therapist, and author of Sit With Me: A No-BS Journey to Mindfulness and Meditation (HarperOne, 2026), called “a book that will speak to you as a human who is worthy of love” by Lion’s Roar. With deep roots in Buddhist and yogic teachings, she brings practical application and authentic connection to every space she enters. She served as Mindfulness Coach at Rikers Island Correctional Facility for four years and can be seen as the Mindfulness Expert on TBS’s Lost Resort. 

Learn more about Oneika at https://www.oneikamays.com/